Анекдот на английском языке Aspirin Remedy (Средство от аспирина)

Jane called the doctor in a panic. "Doctor, doctor! My little Jimmy
Джейн позвонила доктору в панике. "Доктор, доктор! Мой маленький Джимми

swallowed a dozen aspirin. What should I do?"
проглотил дюжину таблеток аспирина. Что мне делать? 

The doctor asked Jane, "Are you sure it was a dozen?"
Доктор спросил у Джейн: "Вы уверены, это их была дюжина?" 

Разговорное выражение "to be on a roll"

Сегодня я познакомлю вас с разговорным выражением "to be on a roll", которое можно примерно перевести как "быть в ударе" (когда у вас начался период везения или череды успехов).

Трейлер фильма "Омерзительная восьмерка" (2015) на английском с русским переводом

Предлагаем вашему вниманию трейлер к восьмому фильму Квентина Тарантино.

Встречайте "Омерзительную восьмерку"!

Под трейлером вы найдете английские субтитры с переводом на русский язык. 

Трейлер фильма Дэдпул (2016) на английском с русским переводом

Представляем вашему вниманию трейлер без цензуры фильма Дэдпул (Deadpool).

Под трейлером вы найдете английские субтитры с переводом на русский язык. 

Most Deserving

A father of five won a large stuffed animal in a raffle. All the way home he agonized about which child should receive the toy. When he arrived, he called the kids together.

"I have decided this gift should go to the most deserving," he said.

 

"Who is the most obedient?" he asked.

 

"Who never talks back to mommy?

 

Who does everything she says?"

 

They're boasting about race records

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"

Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"

 

"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail.

 

Promoting an office

A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his shop entrance.

But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why !

 

Keep Applying

Little Suzie watched, fascinated, as her mother was putting cold cream on her face.

"Why are you rubbing that cream on you face, Mommy?" she asked.

"To stay pretty for Daddy," said her mother.

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter Mommy," asked Suzie, "are you giving up?"

Millionaire Essay

"Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire.'"

Everyone but Philip began to write furiously. He just leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.

"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"

"I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.


Millionaire Essay
[ˌmɪljəˈneər ˈeseɪ]
Миллионерское эссе

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